“Sometimes you just need to talk about something – not to get sympathy or help, but just to kill its power by allowing the truth of things to hit the air”

Diagnosis day is a day you never forget. A day no one should have to go through. I was around 15 weeks pregnant when I got a phone call following up on my AFP screening (2 weeks after finding out we were having a baby girl). What stood out was when the nurse said to me “I’m sorry” as we got off the phone. It settled in over the next 10 minutes before I decided to call back… asking more questions that time. Still, I mentally took from our conversation that false positives were very likely. Not to worry until there was something to worry about.

We waited what felt like an eternity to go see a specialist. It was December 2017 (the week between Christmas and New Years). Yet I still had myself convinced we were in the “false positive” group. The ultrasound tech went through, taking pictures. I remember scanning the screen.. scanning her face.. her reactions.. anxious to get some kind of answer. Everything is fine… right? Unfortunately it wasn’t, we were told our baby girl did have spina bifida. I think that was probably the longest stent I have cried in my entire life.